Day 29 and 30

I am starting to gear up towards choosing a new goal for next month. I think I am going to put in 45 minutes per day of exercise (yay Wii Fit!) for the month of April. Now I put in very little time except for the walking to and from the train. I am starting to think about what I will do for the month of May too. If I can keep picking new goals for each month and see how much I can learn about myself this could be an interesting way to spend a year!

Day 28

I cheated today. I ate 3 thin mint cookies. My fiance has gone to his mother's for Passover so I'm kind of lonely and doing lots of chores and I opened the fridge to find that he had already opened a box. They were sitting there calling to me and I just couldn't resist. I did, however, limit myself to 3 cookies and I have resolved not to touch another one until the 1st. I am super excited about the impending chocolate smorgasboard. I have decided that rather than giving something up for April I am going to put in 45 minutes of working out every day and see what I learn from that experience. My fiance is getting in on it too and has decided to give up Facebook games (of which he plays many) or diet soda. He is going to wait until the 31st to pick one.

Day 24-27

I haven't been here in a couple of days. I have been busy but I've managed to avoid chocolate during that time. I am so glad the 1st is only a couple days away! I have girl scout cookies in the fridge just waiting for the 1st and I will do my best not to eat a whole box in one sitting.

Day 23

Today my order of girl scout cookies came in at the office. I have 2 boxes of thin mints and 2 boxes of tagalongs on my kitchen table right now. Only a few days left before I can inhale an entire sleeve of thin mints the way the universe intended! We had brisket and mashed potatoes for dinner tonight and it was delicious but I was so tempted by cookies I could barely focus. How many days left now?

Day 22

There were free chocolate chip granola bars at work today. I didn't have any. I am counting down the days until the 1st. 8 more days to go!

Day 20 and 21

Yesterday we went to Zabars and picked up some things but I was very well behaved and only bought some lemon cake and steered clear of the chocolate. Today I made spaghetti and meatballs and I ate a bagel with some peanut butter for breakfast. I am now counting down the days to April 1st so I can have chocolate again!

The other big thing is that today I managed to fit into a pair of pants I hadn't worn in almost a year. They were simply too small to button last time I put them on but today they fit just fine. I am astounded by the impact this is having on me. I think I will limit myself to chocolate one day per week from now on and see if that helps me keep losing weight.

Day 18 and 19

Yesterday I accidentally ate some pseudo-chocolate. I picked up what I thought was a 100-calorie bag of cheese nips from the pantry here at work and bit in to find that it was actually 100-calorie chips ahoy. Luckily I think those are just dark spots and not actually chocolate. Today I ate pizza and oatmeal so far but nothing chocolate. I have an orange on my desk for when my sweet tooth kicks in this afternoon. I am doing so much better at this than I thought I would be! I am now at a point where I am getting a little cranky about my lack of chocolate but I have learned so much I am willing to deal with that. I am starting to realize that a huge part of why our nation is so heavy is the constant presence of sweets and fats. I knew that we had a lot of candy and fast food in our country but I had no idea how pervasive it is in our society. I have yet to go more than 2 days without being offered/having access to free chocolate by someone, whether it is chocolate cake in the break room or free samples at the grocery store. It is a low level hum in my day to day life that I am absolutely surrounded by almost at all times and only when I actively fight against it do I even notice that it is there. I'm suprised I am not about 100 lbs heavier than I am, quite frankly.

Day 17

Today was the hardest day so far. Chocolate cake available at work and an intense desire to suck chocolate frosting through a straw. I had really vivid fantasies about just walking out of work and going downtown to buy every piece of chocolate cake for sale in the city. I just had another slice of apple pie though. We made chicken pot pie for dinner and are making corn beef brisket tomorrow. We were going to make it tonight but it hadn't thawed when I got home from work so that wasn't an option.

Day 16

Today I had another slice of apple pie in lieu of chocolatey goodness. We walked by Central Park and there are lots of gorgeous bakeries in that area with beautiful chocolate cakes, eclairs, and other delicious goodness in the window so I got my food porn fix for the day but we didn't buy anything. I should work out today but I'm not going to because I am exhausted. This stupid daylight savings thing is ticking me off royally.

Day 15

Today I got a catalog in the mail from Godiva. The bastards are taunting me through the mail now. I'm being good though and baking an apple pie instead of eating chocolate. I weighed myself today and I am now officially the lightest I have been since New Years. I have a sinking suspicion that this is because of the lack of chocolate and that ticks me off because now I have proof that my love of sweets is slowly expanding my rear end. Stupid delicious chocolate!

Day 14

Today we bought chocolate cookies at the store in CT and brought them back with us to NYC. We are leaving them in the pantry until April 1st though. They are the fudge grasshoppers and peanut butter and chocolate cookies from Keebler (they are apparently almost exactly the same as girl scout cookies) and we wanted to have some in the house to stop us from buying 80 boxes of cookies when the girl scouts set up shop at the store.

Today was my fiance's aunt's birthday and we went out to her place to celebrate with her. There were chocolate covered strawberries but I didn't eat any. I just had plain fruit and a piece of a breakfast egg casserole. We were out late last night and then we lost an hour due to the time change so we are more than a little exhausted at this point. This makes me want chocolate even worse but I still haven't touched it.

Day 13

The weather today is awful! Horrible wind and rain pouring out of the skies that literally knocked me down at one point today made it seem like a perfect day to make s'mores or fondue. I resisted though. I have a chicken in the oven and it should be super tasty but it won't be the same as chocolate!

Day 12

Today is the monthly birthday celebration in the office. They have the world's largest chocolate cake in the conference room. I have never wanted anything so badly in my life! It is taking every ounce of willpower I have to stay at my desk and not go join in on the chocolatey celebration. I'm learning this month that chocolate tends to show up for free all over the damn place. I can't imagine why I bought so much of it when it seems to practically rain down from heaven for free! I think the universe is starting to consipre against me and one day next week I will wake up to find my refrigerator has emptied itself of milk and vegetables and replaced them with blocks of fudge.

Day 11

I didn't eat any chocolate today but I've noticed a weird phenomenon beginning to develop in my head. I will on random occasions get flashes of chocolate. I will be sitting there, minding my own business, when all of the sudden *BAM* I get a mental image of a piece of cake sitting on a pretty white plate on the table in front of me. I shake it off and then later I get an image of a snickers bar being pulled apart slowly like in the commercials. I think that might be a sign of insanity actually.

Day 10

I made an interesting discovery today. I always have really bad PMS. Like, having to talk myself out of stabbing people on the subway bad. Sobbing incoherently into my hands while working out bad. Not allowing myself to make any large decisions because if I do I will leave my wonderful fiance, quit my fabulous job, and end up homeless in some ghost town out west in a fit of pique kind of bad.

I started my period today and didn't even realize it was coming because there was no flair of PMS to warn me. My emotions were so level I couldn't believe it! I have to wonder if this is a side effect of the lack of chocolate or if it is a fluke. My logical side says it is probably a side effect of the removal of chocolate from my daily life. My emotional side hopes it is a fluke because I can't imagine something I love so much causing such a large problem in my life. I knew that a healthy diet was supposed to make you feel better but this kind of thing never would have occurred to me when I thought of that.

Day 8 and 9

The 8th and 9th were difficult days for chocolate avoidance. I got a raise at work and wanted to celebrate with candy. Someone brought in one of those giant chocolate chip cookies like you get at the mall and left it in the break room. I went to Zabar's and their bakery section makes such tasty chocolate treats. Sigh.

I didn't give in to the desire for chocolate though. The worst I did was eat a piece of crumb cake. I really, really wanted chocolate but I abstained. I had better see some real weight loss result from this!

Day 7

Today I had a brisket sandwich for brunch and I am currently making beef and barley stew for dinner and baking a loaf of bread. No chocolate though. I did fantasize about Junior's chocolate/chocolate cake for a bit today but I didn't give in! God, that cake is so good though. I highly recommend it to people who haven't given up chocolate for March.

I actually went to the grocery store today to pick up a few items that we need for the household and spent $13 on really healthy foods. Milk, eggs, celery, mushrooms, yogurt and apples. I've already got vanilla ice cream at home so I didn't feel the need to buy anything sweet. I was really proud of myself and I wanted to point out to the cashier just how healthy I was being in my purchases today but I didn't because I didn't want her to think I was nuts.

Day 6

Today has been surprisingly easy. I had oatmeal for breakfast and I have a brisket in the crock pot for dinner and that makes me happy. I don't feel like I need to go lick the windows at the Godiva store or root around on the floor at the M&M store like a pig looking for truffles in the woods. I just feel normal. If I can do this for a month and come out on the other side unscathed I think I might just try giving up something a bit more complicated next month and see how that goes!

Day 4 and 5

So far for the past 2 days I have had no chocolate at all. My appetite has leveled off a bit so I am not feeling the need to stuff myself stupid. I really want chocolate but I am doing a fantastic job of refraining. I have yet to see any weight loss because of it but I am still in early days yet. Wish me luck!

Day 3

Yesterday was really, really difficult. Not because I had a general craving for chocolate but because my fiance was informed that he may be losing his job 6 weeks from now. I wanted to turn to chocolate for coping but that wasn't an option this time. Instead we put together a budget and figured out how to save as much money as possible over these next 6 weeks. We are also going to do some cleaning and find things we don't have any need for and put them up for sale on craigslist and ebay. Here's hoping we don't lose 50% of our household income next month, but if we do I hope we will be ready.

Day 2

Yesterday was more difficult. We went to the movies and I got Sour Patch Kids instead of chocolate and they weren't as satisfying as peanut M&Ms would have been.

Day 1

Today wasn't too bad. I had a lemon cupcake but no chocolate of any kind. I feel like I could do this forever but I know by Wednesday I will be searching through my coworkers trash cans looking for Reese's wrappers I can lick furiously in the bathroom. I can tell that my body doesn't feel like I'm done eating. It thinks that because I haven't put any chocolate in my system I'm not done with dinner despite having a full plate followed by a sandwich. I still feel like I'm super hungry. In my mind dinner hasn't ended yet and I could probably eat until I explode without feeling any different. In a couple of days that should stop and my brain should catch up to itself.